What Am I So Angry About?

I am a huge fan of the band Thirty Seconds to Mars. During a live version of the song "Closer to the Edge" at radio Sputnik that I found on You Tube (thank you, you tuber :) The lead singer had the crowd yell the refrain "No, No, No, No!" and on about the third yell, when they were good and riled up, he says "You're so angry. What are you so angry about." Very good question. When I went to the concerts, yelling "No, No, No, No!" was one of my favorite parts. I went to a Hole concert last week, and screaming along was half the fun there, too. As a teenager, I wished I hadn't had such a girly voice, so I could scream along with Kurt Cobain. If I could scream, especially if I were a guy who could scream, I would've tried to form a rock band. My husband doesn't really scream along at concerts like I do. What isn't he angry about? He happened to be born a white male. Not that there's a shortage of angry white men out there, but I can't deny that they are expected to have the most opportunities, or at least be more respected in our culture. I often think of a really great, world-changing idea, and try to figure out which distinguished male figure I could pitch it to, since that's how my idea will have the most influence. Yeah, I guess I'm pretty angry. I realize there are women out there who back their own ideas and achieve some progress. If I looked at the statistics, though, I'm sure I'd find them to be a small percentage compared to men. They'd definitely all be underpaid. It is sort of a cop-out to blame all of my anger on sexism. Or maybe that's what my male-dominated society would want me to believe. It's all my fault, right? I could've taken out that huge college loan that would take me twice as long to pay off with half the salary. I should have listened to all female bands and learned to like them as my role models (even though there are a tenth as many). I should have learned to adopt male qualities, then fought my way to the top of whatever male-dominated profession I wanted. (Did I mention my mannerisms and demeanor aren't unlike the character Meredith Gray on Gray's anatomy. Yes, I'm even clumsy.) When the world refuses to change, we often take on the task of changing ourselves. Fans of Thirty Seconds to Mars know and love their song "The Kill" which has the lyrics "I tried to be someone else, but nothing seemed to change. I know now this is who I really am inside." This is who we really are, not that the world has accepted us yet. It would prefer we blame ourselves and change back. Yes, we are angry. Wish there were more of us. Now let's change things.