i think God is questioning my existence

there was a quote from a Christian group that said "i don't question your existence - God". now i'm wondering if when i'm having a bad day, or lacking energy, is it because God is questioning my existence? that could be the answer. i'm created in his likeness, so if i have days of low faith, maybe he has days of low faith in me as his creation. perhaps He thinks of scrapping the project that is me. "ugh! that's not how i wanted it to turn out at all, why is she just not quite right?" it's just like a stormy weather system that moves in, then passes. in the grand scheme of things, we're both glad that the other exists. there's bound to be a storm here and there along the way. afterwards, we can both sit and laugh about it, reminiscing about our "war stories"of those bad days in life. like old friends reuniting, we'll be cracking up about the things i thought, and what He actually meant, and how everybody got it just slightly wrong. secure, in a cabin by the fireplace in winter drinking cocoa together. He'll say "Hey, remember when you had that body that was hyper-reactive to this stuff? Okay, maybe that was sort of a cruel joke on my part. You had some fun with it, though, huh? No real harm done." nope, not at all, when i think about it.

i've gotta learn to fly so i can catch time

i've gotta learn to fly so i can catch time. maybe that's why dreams of flying are the happiest ones, except in the one where i was seemingly going faster than time. i hate missing things. if time and i were in sync i wouldn't miss anything, ever. of course, if i could go faster than time maybe i could catch even more. what speed is the goal here? i need to set a definitive speed that is the right one. no, it must change, be different at all times. i'll trick time, make it my bitch. it's a guy though, he's my male bitch....no misogyny here. someone called me time savvy once, but only when it had to do with money. i'll think of everything i want to do as money, then. it was probably more resentment toward the people who pay the crappy wages, though. they owe me my fifteen minutes...it only comes out to a couple bucks, anyway. my fifteen minutes isn't even worth a starbucks cafe mocha to them. if i could set my own wages, i'd earn a mocha in five minutes. whoa, i'm expensive. that's why i need to harness time.